Taking a pause ...

Since last couple of weeks, I have been receiving lot of complains from regular readers of this blog. They are not able to open the page or if it does, it takes almost an hour. Many people also mailed me narrating their difficulties in posting their comments and inability to participate to the extent they would love to, despite the blog's setting being open for all the comments! I wrote about this issue to the bloggers team several times but in vain! Technology frustrates me sometimes!

It would take some time to find a solution to this problem and I would prefer having my readers' comments on my blog rather than flooding my inbox with them! Let's meet in the New Year, when I would be back with the improved avatar of this blog and we would continue our journey, we started about year back.

I believe, everything happens for a reason. Maybe, it is time for me to take some pause and find some new perspective when I am away from blogging! I sincerely appreciate patience displayed by readers of this blog despite the technical problem. Each and every comment that was posted on my facebook page, mail or on the blog has enriched me tremendously in growing as a person and writer and I truly cherish them.

With Christmas and New Year around, everybody is in mood to party and celebrate. Have a fantastic party! Catch you soon! Cheers and loads of love,
Simi

Those little angels need us...

The last time I met Chhotu, he was a boy with beautiful smile, had a glint in his eyes and loads of enthusiasm despite the brutality of the circumstances he lived in. I met him last week, after months and was disturbed to notice the drastic change in him. He looked sullen, the smile was gone and his face looked too mature for his age. I was wondering what must have happened in all these months in the world of this boy, barely nine! When I asked him about it, he told me that one of his friends had gone missing and that he feared that the friend might have fallen into wrong hands.

Before I share his story further, let me introduce you to Chhotu. He is one of the children you would find roaming at C.S.T station at Bombay. Everyday, hundreds of  children come to this city from every part of the country and struggle for survival on the streets, railway stations and other public places. Generally, we look at them with disdain, assume that they are criminals and ignore their existence completely. Chhotu and his friends clean railway compartments of the local trains and sometimes receive money from some kind passengers. Most of these children have escaped their homes to avoid abusive parents or have been left alone to fend for themselves by their families.

I distinctly remember meeting Chhotu and his friends first time, during one of my rare travels by local train. They were in my compartment, giggling, sharing jokes about the absurdities of their life and laughed at me in unison when I stopped them from standing too close to the gate of the train. However, when I insisted, they listened to me and that worked wonderfully, as ice breaker. I probed about their life and soon we all got talking. After we reached C.S.T station, I offered to buy them food and clothes. Chhotu immediately asked me if I could arrange for medical help instead, for one of his friends who happened to be ill and was absent that day. Once, everything they needed was taken care of, I spent some time talking to them. And in those moments of sharing I learnt about their pain, insecurities, loneliness, confusion regarding their identities and their constant struggle to cope up with displacement and dissonance that was part of their everyday life.

When I asked Chhotu, if any action was taken to search his friend, he started crying inconsolably. No words were enough to heal the wound of Chhotu's loss. Words like, "don't worry, everything will be alright" would have been blatant betrayal as we both knew that once a child went missing from such place, he never returned. I offered him his favorite soup and a food packet and tried to talk about life in general. He managed a smile, a futile attempt at concealing all his suffering. I stayed with him for sometime and then had to leave with heavy heart, as I was already delayed for my meeting.

Its hardly few days since I met Chhotu but his sad, empty eyes haunt me. I dread to think about many more Chhotus who are all around us but succumb to anti social elements and vanish in oblivion for the sake of survival. I am aware of the political, social, economical and cultural factors responsible for criminal, inhuman condition of millions of people including children. What bothers me most is the way we have become comfortably NUMB about this issue!!! Do we really value human life ? When I come across little angels like Chhotu everyday, I very much doubt it. 

"Vision beyond sight"

"Didi, which color you like most?" I was completely surprised with this innocent question. How do you discuss colors with someone who has never seen any, in his life? I was at the annual exhibition of Happy Home & School For The Blind, surrounded by visually challenged little angels. Life sometimes poses very interesting situations that compel us to visit different space in our minds that are never visited before and gives us very interesting perspective!

"Well, I like all the colors. But, if I were to tell you my favorite ones, then they would be blue and yellow." I replied carefully, bit nervous wondering how would I explain these colors if I am asked to. "They are very nice colors indeed didi, said another child, but my favorite is orange, the color that one sees in the sky just when the sun is about to set." I was speechless thinking about how someone could talk about color without having seen it!

Welcome to Happy Home &amp & School For The Blind to understand that. The moment you enter the premises, you notice two things instantly; absolute cleanliness and divine positive vibes! Every year, this school organizes the exhibition and that's when you can see what these talented children are really capable of! They create  stunning artifacts in ceramic, pottery, mosaic, wood-work , handlooms and carpentry. You can actually see some of them making those beautiful pieces at the exhibition.

I met a few volunteers and committed teachers, attending visitors at the exhibition and guiding the boys see their beautiful creations through touch. Each child was given a few minutes to see (feel) the work and I watched them curiously. They were absolutely disciplined, handled every piece carefully and were very polite in their conversation. It was amazing how they perceived each piece through touch, trying to "feel" it and asked several questions enthusiastically. Perhaps, that is how they learn about their immediate environment, from what they hear, touch, feel but can't see!

After I was done with my shopping, I spent some time with boys making greeting cards and pottery. They were a bunch of happy, care free, confident and mischievous children, typical of their age. Each one telling me proudly what they had made for the exhibition, about which all games they loved playing and some suggested that I visit them more often. Its only after I promised more visits, they let me go! I was all charged up and overwhelmed by their positive spirit and deeply touched by their innocent smiles and warmth.

Most of these children were blind, partially blind or with multiple impairments and yet here they were going about life as if there was absolute no handicap at all!! Wonder how many of us have this kind of attitude despite having everything in abundance? That is one of the reasons why I never miss out such occasions. It helps me keep a check on myself. Such divine interludes really make us value what we have and be thankful for it!

Comfortably silent...

Let's face it. India is a highly corrupt nation in every possible sphere. Accepting this fact gives a big blow on our pride and ego, isn't it? It is high time we learnt to swallow it. With every exposed scam reaching new blasphemous heights, one keeps wondering if there is ever going to be any end to these shameful acts of politics of power, money, greed and control!

Media is backbone for any democracy and we have seen it evolve significantly since last decade. If we read the transcripts of 2G spectrum allocation scam carefully, it is evident how Indian media has subtly become a behemoth in past few years! I won't go into unnecessary details of the tapes. We all have read them. What disturbs me most is the silence that the mainline media has maintained ever since this scam came into light! Interestingly, the internet has been buzzing with strong reactions while the print and television media has barely talked about the big names from media industry involved in this scam! WHY?

The nexus between journalists, lobbyists, political parties, big business houses and their PR agencies is not unknown.  Agreed, journalists have to mingle with everybody to establish their sources and create extensive and efficient network. But, is there any line drawn by the journalists to make sure they do not breach professional ethics? I doubt it very much! Why else would the known names of the media who became "big brands", play the role of "fixers"? Read the transcripts of the 2G scam tapes once again and you would know why I am using such a harsh word!

India still has a very low rate of internet penetration. Which means, by not covering this issue, media has kept people of this country in dark. Don't you think media owes it to nation? And by not being transparent with people on this issue, hasn't it failed to serve its very purpose? What shocked me most in this sad debacle is not the well known industrialist's audacious claims of how easily he can buy anything, including any party, or the known respected names in media playing to the tunes of lobbyists and industrialists but the suffocating silence mainline media has maintained so far.

Perhaps, in days to come, like many other scams, this issue will be forgotten! People involved in it would get clean chit and go about life as if nothing really ever happened, laughing all the way to the bank. And common people like you and me would still continue to pay our taxes and take pride in being honest citizens.

I am waiting for some ray of hope in horizon. I still don't wish to give up hope. That's all I have!

  

Let's wake up PLEASE !!!

Two days back, I learnt about sad demise of a friend of one of my relative. The lady, at the age of 45, succumbed to cervical cancer within a month since it was detected. Obviously, it was too advanced a stage of cancer when detected. This news came as a shocker. When I heard the whole story about the deceased from my relative, I was very disturbed and absolutely numb!

From what I learnt, it was clear that the deceased lady had displayed some symptoms for quite a long period, which if were paid attention to and treated on time, would have averted this tragic loss. What baffled me most was the callous attitude of the lady and her family that clearly disregarded her chronic health problems and carried on life as if they were just the "routine health issues"!

In another case of cancer, someone I know very closely was detected with breast cancer few months back. Luckily, the lady came out of it safely and now leads absolutely normal life but in her case, since the day cancer was detected, instead of following one course of treatment judiciously that was working great, the lady was put to endless alternate treatments by her husband and family members, making her go through harrowing times.

The number of deaths due to cervical and breast cancer in India are alarming. Most of the the cancer cases are preventable and curable if detected at early stage. Saddest part is, still, the awareness regarding this issue is negligible even in educated and well resourced strata of society.

I feel sad when people show callous disregard for health issues and check ups. In last one year, I have witnessed three deaths due to cancer in my extended social circle and made an observation which is shocking and sad. Many times, when I remind my friends and extended family members about their doctor's appointment and drag them for health check ups, I am often laughed at for being paranoid! It is sometimes very frustrating to find such attitude even in most educated and rich class! Who said ignorance about these life threatening issues prevails only in lower strata of society?

Death is inevitable. But when it is caused by lack of timely attention to health it is just not acceptable. Certainly not in today's times when every possible treatment is available! I have very closely witnessed the physical, emotional and psychological pain of the people suffering from cancer. I know how difficult it is for the families to cope up with this challenge and provide support. It is not that people are not willing to spend money on healthcare. It is sometimes just not their priority and when they realize it, it is too late!

Life is far too precious. Let's not lose it to our callous ignorance, wrong mindsets and attitudes. The most painful moment in life is when one appreciates it only on the deathbed. Do we really need to wait till our last breaths to value this beautiful gift called life? Think. And PLEASE act on it. 

Meeting mr."know it all " and mrs."snooty"

I was at pre Diwali party, a small gathering at my friend's house a fortnight back. I prefer small gathering to the usual loud parties and big crowds, as it allows people to really strike conversations. Sometimes, these conversations provide great premise for opening up of whole new worlds through experiences of people from diverse fields and their engagements in their respective proffession and life in general. And at such delightful encounters of sharing, there is also silly laughter and absolute madness turning into still moments that makes one realize complete compatibility between even perfect strangers sometimes!

Most of the people present at the party were an interesting mix of accomplished artists, successful businessmen, a few known names from media and corporate sector. Just when I had started enjoying the mood of the conversations progress from formal to festive and very casual, we all were greeted by two couples who walked in the party with that typical "in your face', "notice us" attitude, making pompous
proclamations about their "achievements" within the very first few minutes of their arrival. Obviously, everybody listened to them out of politeness but beyond a point, it became stifling as the conversation went only in one direction; grandeur of self importance and feeling of superiority through dragging people through dirt.

Any effort to change the topic by anyone present there was met with rude interruption and challenged with bratty arrogance. When they were ignored and some intelligent conversations were initiated on various topics, those couples dragged each conversation with sniffling servitude to the same " we have been there" "done that ", "we know it all " and passed their "expert comments " on every possible subject persistently. When one couple was rhetorical, the other went on mindless praise to reinforce their weird sense of  audacious "superiority" and this was their modus operandi since the moment they entered the party!

My friend was embarrassed for no fault of hers and she soon called everyone to join the dinner table and very smartly made a different arrangement for those two couples giving them a feeling of "special treatment", while the rest of us were relieved to have finally got rid of their torture. Needless to say, at the dinner table the conversation was back to normal and we all shared lot of giggles.

On my way back home, when I revisited the experience in my mind, I felt sad. Those two couples at the party hailed from very affluent background yet the way they behaved made me contemplate on lots of issues that I felt were hidden beneath their undesirable behavior. I am sure, we all have come across such embarrassing encounters where people try to define who they are through what they possess. The ultimate emblem of their existence is derived from their frequent world tours - flying first class, expensive cruises they sail, flashy cars, villas, jewelry and most happening gadgets that they flaunt at every possible opportunity! The mad race in which they participate "to be seen", "to be validated" and the extent they go in strutting their arrogance is shocking! The most pathetic part in such people is lack of depth, about which they appear to be blissfully ignorant.

I always look forward to meet new people and its very rare that I have been disappointed. I look for substance in people and believe me, I have met most beautiful people at the most unexpected places and learnt so much from them. The two couples at the party were snooty and lacked basic dignity and social skills completely. And because of them, that evening, everybody missed out an opportunity to engage in conversations that could have transpired into something real, meaningful or much more fun!

I don't like to discuss people and was in two minds to write on this topic. The reason why I narrated this incident is, it provides insight into human bahavior that we all are subjected to and need to reflect upon sometimes. As they say, it takes all kinds of people to make this world.

And money can NEVER buy culture and class.

Life in a frantic lane...

"A complete chaos" is the right term to describe what I am experiencing currently! I am up to my neck in duties, commitments, expectations, obligations, whizzing around dervish, attending never ending "things to do" list! Since the day we decided to shift the house, it has been quite a challenge to maintain my usual calm demeanor.

Despite the smart planning, goal setting and diligent work from my end (that is how I always work and often take pride and boast about when I am with some of my lazy friends), I am surrounded by mayhem! The end result is a BIG dent on my ego and great amount of frustration, fatigue and disappointment. We have shifted in our new house which is barely ready and I am compelled to keep my cool and find techniques to make sure that some semblance of sanity prevails. Well, who said getting work done from people was a cakewalk? So what, if you are paying them through your nose!

In normal course, I would have enjoyed this lack of structure and logic as a welcome break in my tight scheduled routine. But when one has to hop from one room to another, like a bunny in the jungle (electricians, carpenters, plumbers and at least a dozen more people are working in my house, with their tool kits strewn around all over, creating a ruckus), the experience creates anxious moments.

There is always some element of unpredictability and chaos in life and one learns to accept it eventually but last few days of  my immense hard work, chasing deadlines, pushing and striving for a proper new house according to my standards has resulted in sleepless nights and loads of pressure. The people working in my house give me that, "what a nutcase you are" look, when I request them to handle my artifacts carefully or demand things to be done in certain way. My son is working judiciously on giving me lessons on "how to take a chill pill" amidst all this madness. I envy the calm he displays and wonder if he has attained Nirvana already!

A new house is like a blank canvas and I can't wait to enjoy the process of making this house a home.
"Life in a fast lane, surely makes you lose your mind", Eagles were so right in singing that song!

A wonderful lesson...

It is interesting how life presents us opportunities to keep a check on the principles and values that we think we observe judiciously. The most amazing part is, when life catches us unaware at its most unexpected nook and corner, where we engage ourselves with others and are compelled to ask some uncomfortable questions to ourselves!

Last week, I was busy with the shifting of my house. Amidst all the chaos and high action, I had very insightful conversations with two members from the packers and movers team. They hail from a remote village near Darjeeling, were in their early twenties but looked much younger, almost like my teenage son. I was instructing and helping them pack things according to my requirement and learning about their difficult work schedule that barely allowed them to survive in this city. Despite the challenges, they seemed extremely content and there was some beautiful aura to their personae that made me curious about their life.

After my clothes, shoes painfully collected crockery and artifacts were packed, one of them jovially remarked, "madam, we can dress half the women from our village with these many lovely clothes" and the other followed, "we can  feed the entire village in those beautiful utensils"! I laughed at their innocent remarks. But when I went to sleep that night, those remarks revisited my mind and compelled me to think if I was following the very rule that I had set for myself and my family.

I lead absolutely uncluttered life and like to be very organized. As a rule, when I buy any garment, shoes, bag or anything for the house, the exact number of the same things I already possess, goes to the needy, even if it is hardly used. This way, I find immense joy in sharing with the less privileged and get a chance to peep in their life and also don't accumulate things that have served its purpose. Sometimes, in that process, I have to part with things that were very carefully chosen and collected after lot of efforts. But that exercise helps me understand if I am buying incessantly or crossing the line of greed under the disguise of great taste.

The next day when I woke up, I had already made a mental note of what all I had to take out from the packed boxes. My heart strings tugged at the thought of parting with things that had great sentimental value. It was difficult dilemma, where on one hand I wanted to keep everything while on other, my conscience forced me to give away some of the most enviable and precious things that I cherished for more than two decades. I also immediately arranged for these things to be given away before my heart engulfed me in its "greedy" mode.

The two young men's nonjudgmental, innocent comments helped me do what I should have done long time back! They had a completely different background and were uneducated with hardly any life experience, yet they taught me a wonderful lesson. Though I was in emotionally wobbly state of mind as that was the last night in my old house, I slept very peacefully thanks to those angels. Isn't it awesome, how some chanced upon interactions end up with enriching outcomes?

Its time to say goodbye !

It is late, lazy morning. I can feel that the day is going to be cloudy. All the routine sounds and smells in the surrounding seem so familiar! I stand near my favorite window and glance at the road below and see the life bubbling with its usual, frenetic energy. As I feel the gentle breeze, soaked with humidity on my skin, the wind chimes sing their playful notes. Everyday, at few quiet moments like these, I am embraced softly with the warmth and beauty of this awesome house that I have been living in, since last seven years.

"Madam, I am leaving. Please close the door and don't forget to eat your meal on time." My maid's commanding voice breaks my indulging silence of the moment. I am woken to the reality and check my "things to do list" for the day. For the last couple of days, I have been occupied with house hunting exercise and whizzing around from one house to another in pursuit of a "good house". Despite knowing that one day I might have to shift to another house, I didn't realize how subtly I got emotionally attached to this lovely place. Ever since I shifted to this beautiful city, I have lived in this house. Moving out of it and settling down to a new one (no matter how fantastic) is emotionally fragile experience. And now that the packing has began, I wonder what all do I carry along?

There are some of the finest memories of conversation sessions with friends and loved ones, post supper that lasted almost till the dawn! The spontaneous debates, sharing and belief in the dreams of one another or regenerating a pulse of falling self belief that unfolded during those lovely times of muted zone. The first time my son got the fracture on his hand and the bandage that he was so looking forward to (actually!!), his friends coming over for night stay at every possible opportunity, or the big day, when my son turned teenager and looked so proud having reached that stage finally!!! The awesome times when I went for walks at the beautiful garden of the building or endless times when I accompanied my son to the club for his swimming and squash sessions.

There are countless lovely memories of this house that has always served as a space where friends, loved ones and neighbors found immense peace and comfort. Some paid visit to read a book, to borrow some music CD, to laugh, cry, to be sheltered or just eat and feed on sheer delight of togetherness with lots of fun and laughter, while some also visited us just to feel the positive vibes of the house! There have been times when I have craved for some time for ourselves but friends have denied it without an iota of guilt and barged in nevertheless. But, when I look back at those times now, there is a great satisfaction of nurturing energies that have translated into some positive experiences and outcomes.

The time has arrived when I would shortly have to say goodbye. At the new home, few things would remain the same. At the parties, stories would still be narrated that would keep the audience captivated, music would still be played from my collection that would transform us and in some magical way help us get in touch with some inner part of ourselves at some precious moments. There would be some new friends, experiences and learning at the new home. In short, the party continues! Its just that the venue is changing.

But before I move out, I must thank God for the truly special and wonderful time we have had in this lovely home. It will be etched in our hearts forever! Whosoever comes to reside in this house after us, may find all the happiness and peace that we experienced here. Thy say, change is the only constant thing in life and I must move on with precious memories in my heart.

Celebrations unlimited!!!

Last couple of weeks, have been exceptionally beautiful! With so many festivals to be celebrated in such short time, it has been like one long party. I love festivals! They provide lovely interludes from the daily grind and bring families and loved ones together. And when such festivals transcend religious, geographical and cultural boundaries and are celebrated through different communities with gaiety and devotion, there is a beautiful, infectious energy in the air! Interestingly, such interludes often introduce me to new spaces of thinking, a delightful wandering that I truly revel.

I am fortunate to have had a childhood that was rich with exposure to different religions and have grown up celebrating all possible festivals. With changing times, festivals and celebrations have undergone immense change! With each festival being celebrated on huge scale with veritable extravaganza and with commercial and political agendas having entered, the whole dynamics of celebrations have changed! Except the deity, everything looks the same - the sponsors' advertisements that scream for attention, the stalls at the pandals that offer you everything from an exclusive holiday package, home loan or insurance, to an attractive discount at the prestigious spa in town! Even the food stalls resemble the food courts at the shopping mall offering wide range of cuisines for your culinary delight!

I prefer festivals being celebrated in very traditional manner, sans the commercialization. But, these days, they have become means of merriment and socializing. It has been ages since I went for garba, ( I find it absurd doing garba with the traditional songs based on the tunes of Bollywood numbers that are atrocious and inappropriate for such religious occasions). At the Durga Puja last week, I was lucky to have glimpse of traditional dance form  "dhunuchi naach " and was blown over by the divine energy the
"dhakis" ( drummers) displayed while performing! With Saraswati Puja on Vijaya Dashami yesterday, this long party of  festivals would pause till Deepawali.

For me, festival time is also when there is no apparent reason for it. I celebrate when my family and friends are with me or when I am alone and enjoy being with myself. Celebration time for me is, when I come across some brilliant piece of art, meet some interesting person and have fantastic conversation, see a beautiful smile on the child's face across the road, or when I am touched by random act of kindness by a perfect stranger.Oh, the list is so long that I can't write it here. One life is too small to enjoy this beautiful world. I wonder, why do we really need any excuse to celebrate?







 

My rendezvous with Rajnikanth !

"Mom, DON'T!!! It's not your type." warned my son, when I agreed to watch "Robot" with my hubby - a complete movie buff. Hubby looked surprised with my answer and smiled with that look in his eyes that always admires the great extent I go to prove my love for him sometimes!

Well, I had one more reason to watch the movie actually. In past few weeks, I have witnessed frenzied mass adulation and was deeply intrigued to see the phenomenal hysteria that even most educated and well bread have displayed for this Rajnikant movie! I HAD to watch my first Rajnikant movie to understand why such furor is created over it. What I went through in the three hours of watching "Robot" is something that I would always remember all my life!

The movie starts with the credits that say Superstar Rajini, a very clear indication of how Rajini is larger than life figure in South India. The moment his name appears on the screen, the madness in the theater begins. The audience is completely in awe of Rajini and they welcome him with hooting, whistling and loud cheers. The various appearances of the superstar in dual role as scientist, Dr. Vasigaran and as android, Chitti (with his unique style, speed 1 terahertz, memory 1 zeta byte) and one's eyes are almost blinded with the glare of his snazzy shirts and sunglasses, his flashy wigs and stylish sideburns and at that point one realizes that it is a complete different world. There is no time for expressing shock as the whole movie is packed with sheer fantasy where anything is possible! Yeah, absolutely anything!

Have you ever imagined sprinting on busy railway tracks with the shoes that turn skates in the hour of need? How about gliding horizontally on the sides of speeding train to save your lady love (don't look shocked, I have studied law of gravity)? Can you zip out bullets from your bare fingers? No? Well, our Rajini is capable of all these stunts and much more. He can draw metal to his body magnetically from confronting cops with guns, turning into a multi armed God like figure, capable of getting rid of hundreds of armed policemen. He can even fly to save people from fire or turn into Anaconda and swallow a helicopter! And with every extreme antic like that audience goes absolutely berserk. That's when you know only Rajini can get away with defying logic, death or gravity! And that precisely seems to be his USP.

Rajini's audience looks for a world of sheer fantasy where one is swept off the feat with his every stunt. What makes his fans go crazy about his movie, is his unique dialogue delivery and mannerism which is so popular that every two minutes, the audience jumps in the seat out of sheer excitement or with its anticipation!

Watching" Robot" for me was a mind blowing experience and throughout the movie, I giggled like a kid! There was so much noise in the theater that when I left, I had severe headache and was bedazzled by lavish spectacles ( a song " kilimanjaro"(!!!) pictured at Machu Pichu and Brazil - a riot of colorful costumes) dramatic visual effects and all the madness it ensued. I doubt, I am qualified enough to understand and appreciate a Rajinikant movie. I would rather prefer Rajini , the person who is known and respected as a fine human being.

What appeals to me most, is Rajini as a human being who is absolutely an inspiration! He is so comfortable with his grey beard, bald head and wrinkles that he never tries to hide in his public appearances. No wonder, he is worshiped for his honesty and humility. We have lot to learn from you Rajini saar! And about your movies saar, I have had a lifetime experience! The very mention of the movie and I burst into laughter. Now that is real entertainment.

Well, about my take on Robot, don't miss the experience!

The verdict - have we really moved on?

Last week has been a little edgy for the people in India. Whole nation was waiting for the verdict on Ram Janma Bhoomi temple site dispute with anxiety. Print and electronic media as well as social networking sites were abuzz with peace messages. There was strange restlessness in air beneath the eerie calm that engulfed everyone! Perhaps, that was result of some unhealed wounds of past, caused by pervert politics of religion which has been seminal part of Indian politics since decades.

What one observed in last few days was very interesting and reflects how Indians have moved on since 6th December,1992. In general, people showed immense maturity and exercised restraint before and after the verdict was announced. However, some political leaders indulged in elaborate rhetoric devoid of any facts from the judgment when media honchos tried every possible antic to extract some sensational reaction from them. But what baffled me most was the sheer chaos created by some lawyers soon after the verdict was pronounced. For a complex and highly sensitive issue of this nature, wasn't it required to assign the job to a spokesperson and convey the verdict to entire nation in much more professional manner?

If one looks within the precincts of the democracy like India, governed by its constitution, the verdict certainly is a "win-win" and fair to my mind. However, considering the uniqueness of the issue that involves history, faith, jurisdiction and sentiments of people from different religions, it needs to be treated in extra ordinary manner.

From the reactions that have emerged so far, we all know that one of the litigants, Sunni Wakf Board plans to approach the Supreme Court of India, challenging the High Court Judgment. The verdict pronounced on 30/09/10 is just the beginning in the direction of finding solution to this issue. I hope and pray that the Supreme Court is able to give a permanent closure to this, at the earliest.

India has changed post 1992 far way beyond anyone could envision in 1992. With economy growing towards a very promising future, Indians seems keen to reach newer heights of growth. After having paid a very heavy price and learned from the painful lessons, influence of politicians, expert in playing religion card has diluted and it was evident the way Indians gave their verdict by showing maturity in last few days. The most remarkable thing to observe was how irrelevant the issue seemed to the most of people that I observed and interacted with.

History of any nation should be respected and so should be any faith, especially in world's largest democracy like India. But let's think for a moment, is there any point in revisiting past mistakes? We need to continue showing maturity it in all areas of our life, everyday! We have enough temples and mosques. It is time to build confidence and trust amongst each other. And if we unite, there is no country in world that can beat us in any area. Don't you agree with me?

India shining ?!

Since last couple of weeks, enough brouhaha has been created over CWG disaster which has caused HUGE embarrassment to the nation world over. With ruling party suddenly waking up to this sad debacle and the PMO creating pressures for the damage control in this entire tamasha, the scene has now taken interesting turn!

As I write this, media is abuzz with appalling stories from CWG village. Though we have been witnessing the drama since last couple of days, every additional negative news report about CWG  and the shameless statements, blame games, accusations and claims being made by politicians and the concerned officials, is making me numb. Honestly, I feel sick to the core and very angry.

We had seven years to prepare for this event and the end result is a complete disaster that poses several uncomfortable questions. Since the day of being granted the opportunity to host this mega event, how much money has been spent for this in all these years? How do we justify that amount to the tax payers of the country? How many people involved in this event are equipped with expertise to understand the scale of preparation and execute it?  The way CWG has been handled so far, very clearly indicates callousness and complete lack of credibility. Who do we count responsible for this chaos? Isn't it a collective failure of the ruling party, the corrupt organization committee and the civic administration and its officials?

The saddest part in this entire flop show is that despite having ample of time, world class expertise and manpower in our country we have failed to deliver due to government's late intervention in this issue ( I fail to understand its compulsions ) and corrupt politicians who lack any accountability.

The CWG will take place shortly and after its completion, huge amount of tax payer's money again would be spent cleaning the tarnished image of the ruling party. Media, by then would find some other issue to create a ruckus. We, the taxpaying citizens, would be too tired with sheer helplessness and shame and carry on with our daily grind no matter how sad we feel about the CWG disaster!

All I wish, as of now is some divine intervention to let this event take place successfully without any further embarrassment. They say there is power in prayer. Will you pray with me for this please? I'm keeping my fingers crossed!












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Confined to chaos...

There is nothing unusual in being caught in a traffic jam, specially in metro cities but when one is compelled to brave that adventure with the backdrop of heavy  monsoon clouds pouring and the heaven thundering down with rage and fury, it is a different experience altogether. When there is chaos on the road, being stuck in the traffic makes me think about my past bad karmas and seriously contemplate if there is some way to atonement.

When stuck in anarchy like that, we sometimes realize profound things about life! Day before yesterday, I was engulfed in an absurd scene, a collage of interesting observations. I was stuck in traffic jam for more than an hour. With traffic coming to a standstill, there was no escape from that circus! After the initial furious honking, most people surrendered to the sheer helplessness while some agitated souls continued to fume and fret mindlessly over their cell phones.

The blind beggar couple rushed to take shelter under the half built metro rail bridge. The street urchins were enjoying themselves under the leaked pipe gushing clean water from the building nearby. Some vagabonds were babbling while helping an old man with his car that broke down right in the middle of the road. A cow was frantically searching for her calf that seemed to have lost its way. There was no point in listening to music or working on laptop as there were many distractions with myriad sounds and smells assailing the senses. Shrill giggles of a toddler playing with its mother at the roadside dwelling and even the huge hoardings oozing out endless desires, provided great relief!

One starts to think about absurdity of urban life at such moments. For more than an hour, everything was immersed in complete void and collapsed in some strange nothingness!  Everybody at the traffic jam looked  stressed and was strangely connected in helplessness and ennui yet was totally absorbed with individual loneliness. There was barely any exchange of smiles! The only exchange that took place was a few wistful glances at some random fellow passengers inside other vehicles.

Surprisingly, I found a few moments of stillness when I finally accepted that chaos without any resentment and was at peace with it. Guess that is what urban life teaches you. Once we learn to embrace things as they are with equanimity, life does not really look that bad. Isn't it? I am trying very hard to ingrain that on my emotional and cerebral landscape!

Joy of giving...

I recently read an interesting article in the newspaper about how Muslims from Bombay are the highest payers of zakat - a must religious practice for any devout wealthy Muslim, in the country. Bombay, being the financial capital of the country and having quite substantial number of Muslim population, millions of rupees bestowed for zakat, is not at all surprising! The article also discussed how some people go to the great lengths to find out people who are in dire need yet too self respecting to ask for any help. I found that act very impressive!

Charity is an important aspect in all religions in India and world over. Since last few weeks, with auspicious month of Ramdan and Shravana and festivals like Pateti, Onam, Paryushan and Ganesha Chaturthi the acts of charity have reached greater magnitude becoming a predominant part of celebrations. It is a very gratifying experience to see even people from relatively lower financial strata of society participate in such noble cause.

Every year, millions of rupees are donated by righteous people observing different faiths in India yet the irony is we find poverty in chronic condition! Isn't it something worth reflecting? Most of us don't even bother to check if the money has reached the right people once we donate it. Some of India's religious institutes are very rich with cash but they are not always transparent about their charitable activities and causes they undertake.

It is beautiful experience to share our blessings but it is also our duty to make sure that our help reaches the right people. Feeding poor people and providing them shelter is not enough no matter how well intended the exercise must be. We need to go beyond that. I feel, what is required is to make a systematic, detailed analysis of conditions of people deprived of basic human rights like food, shelter, healthcare, education and opportunities to work. We also need to make them employable.

It is high time we changed our mindset and approach towards charity. All that is required is a realization that charity is our solemn obligation towards society. We can make it our way of life and there is no need to wait for some religious event or festival to perform it. We can always reach out to needy people in our own little ways everyday and share smiles!

"Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be..."

Recently, I attended a wedding in the family. I love celebrations and above all, meeting people! A wedding, filled with all the ingredients that I cherish about life, was a perfect break that I longed for quite some time! Two days of a typical big scale Indian wedding and my mind is already brimming with lots of fascinating stories, observations and experiences!

I met a gorgeous old couple -in their late seventies and for two consecutive days of celebrations I was completely blown over by their youthful attitude and divine chemistry. In my experience, old people are inherently entrenched in memories of their glorious days and obsessed with their health issues. Here was a couple lost in each other, participating in every possible ceremony with sparkle in their eyes. Be it traditional sangeet, mehndi or dance, they were having a blast and all the eyes were marveling this couple defying age with their infectious enthusiasm!


There was something magnetic about the couple that I was tempted to take every opportunity to interact with them. They told me how they vouched to have best time of their life ever since their children settled in their respective lives and renewed their commitment for each other on their 50th wedding anniversary. While having conversation with the old lady, she blushed pointing at the gold wrist watch and showed me the message engraved on it that read, " grow old along with me, the best is yet to be ". She looked at her husband and proudly told me that the watch was a gift from him on their first marriage anniversary! Her every movement, tonal nuance and expression resonated in perfect harmony with her husband and his one gaze conveyed everything to her so beautifully!


I always love interacting with old people and children as it gives a completely different perspective of life. This couple consciously lived the motto of living every single day, as if it was their last! There was a lovely halo to their faces that comes from contentment derived from life well lived.


It was easy to be carried away by the opulence and grandeur at the wedding but I engaged myself in knowing this old couple, I was very fortunate to meet. They were a proof that time is the ultimate test of love. There are many ways we love our spouse but it takes lot of time to know and love each other in most meaningful ways! I learnt what celebrating life really means.


As the wedding celebrations were getting over, everybody went on the floor for one last dance. As the old lady had problem with her knees, the gentleman asked me for the dance and I couldn't resist that tempting offer. That was one of the best dances of my life that I will always cherish !

Beggars ARE choosers!

It was my girlie gang's day out. As I parked my car and was about to enter the coffee shop where I was supposed to meet my friends, a beggar, a boy barely ten sprinted towards me from nowhere and pleaded for money. Before I could even interact with the child, the security guard at the coffee shop shooed him away.

My other friend was not that lucky as she was hounded by the same beggar and when she refused to give him anything, the child abused her with very fowl words! When she entered the coffee shop exasperated and shared  her experience, we all laughed and started talking about our experiences with the growing menace of begging, a typical urban phenomena. Another friend narrated a shocking experience with an old beggar once, where he not only demanded the meal but insisted unflinchingly that my friend buys it from the same expensive restaurant she came out from! She also told us how humiliated she felt, when once a beggar lady threw back a twenty rupee note she had given her out of pity. The beggar lady hurled choicest of the abuses at her and furiously questioned her how come she gave only twenty rupees!!

We see beggars everywhere in our cities. At some temporary flash of compassion and pity we shell out some money without realizing that the very seemingly harmless act of kindness is responsible for the flourishing begging industry worth turnover of millions! Sadly, in India the conditioning is so deeply ingrained that when one tries to spread the awareness about this unhealthy practice, it is considered to be a blasphemy! The trade of begging thrives on this very mindset. People seem to be oblivious to the fact that it is criminal to beg! Since it is a comparatively easy option to earn money where regular flow is guaranteed, begging has become an organized industry growing to alarming dimensions!

I am not against reaching out to people in genuine need. As a rule, I never encourage begging. If the case looks genuine, I rather buy food or something that is really required. Giving away money doesn't provide permanent solution.

We have rules against begging but they are hardly implemented! Looking at the audacity of beggars that the incidents mentioned above reflect, I wonder if we are helping the right people. Is there any way we can fight this malady? Is it right to encourage begging directly or indirectly? What do you think?

Entertainment, a little different style !

Every time I drive down to a mall that is little far from my house, my curiosity is intensified looking at one particular road side establishment. That place is very vibrant with colorful posters, invariably crowded and exhibits some strange scintillating energy! Last week, I had an interesting experience of getting a glance at that tiny, archaic microcosm, a perfect contrast with the swanky mall just about a few meters away down the road!

The establishment is a mini theater meant for only men, situated amidst densely populated slums and odd shops around it. Just when I was trying to figure out how to start conversation, the person selling tickets at the entrance noticed me with my camera. A namaste, accompanied with a smile always works wonderfully as icebreaker! As I started asking questions, people from the neighboring shops started to gather. Through the adjoining narrow maze of alleyways and winding dirty lanes, arrived excited group of barefoot women and children. Slowly, a big crowd thronged around, with curious smiles, showing eagerness to talk and pose for the camera! Some laughed at me, as I looked completely out of place in my designer wear.

Since the owner of the theater was not available, I was not allowed to click images from inside the theater. What I could learn was that they were doing great business by running four shows every day, showing raunchy, B grade Hindi movies. For the customers, an eclectic mix of migrants from very lower financial strata, layered densely around the area, watching movies at this theater is cathartic release from the pressures of rampant mayhem, urban living subjects them to. This theater is the place where the silent screams of their vanquished dreams are blocked temporarily. And spending ten rupees for that luxury is an absolute necessity.

As the crowd grew bigger, it became a huge challenge to deal with people trying to get close to me. I had to rush back to my car after taking some quick pictures. All these years, I have looked at such places a bit disdainfully. We often admire realistic depiction of life that is romanticized in movies. But when one observes reality with such proximity, it is a different experience all together! There are layers and layers to this city that exude such aura of power and wealth! All I need to do is just train my mind to observe these "invisible" different worlds, swirling into myriad patterns of juxtaposing and coexisting in this effervescent city.

The most important learning for me was that the people I met at the theater, despite their dire conditions looked happy! The nonchalant way they go about their struggle everyday and the way they take chaos around them in their stride is amazing! The theater is not only a source of entertainment for these people from diverse communities. It is a melting pot, where they share bidis, paans and individual torments that connect them through pain yet each one is alone in his fight of survival!

The life I breathed here was uniquely different. Every time I pass through this road again, it would signify new meaning of life for me. Had I not gathered the courage to pay visit here, I would have been deprived to see an important slice of life that influences form, texture, body and soul of this vibrant city!

Miles to go !

It was late evening yesterday when I drove back to Bombay after two days of break. While I was returning, the city's usual euphoric state, typical of the Independence Day had mellowed down completely. At some places on the road, I saw tiny, plastic Indian flags strewn all around precariously. A crude reminder of how we have diluted the Independence Day and its celebration to a farce!

We send prolific messages and mails apt for Independence Day, update our status on social networking sites with immense display of nationalism. It feels wonderful to see so many people taking pride and spreading the spirit of nationalism. There is absolutely no doubt that it is one of the great ways to convey our proud feelings for our nation.But how many of us really go beyond this? Do our everyday actions really convey our nationalism that we usually claim only on occasions like the Independence Day and the Republic Day?

The way we go about life every day, does it project us as responsible citizens? How many of us don't encourage corruption, bend rules or take advantage of the loopholes in the system for our personal gains? Don't we take every opportunity to evade tax and still expect the government to take care of every possible challenge that the country is facing? Do we use our natural resources judiciously? Do we ever appreciate the contribution of our soldiers who give their lives to save ours? I have endless questions in my mind and my blood starts to brew when I think on this line.

India, as nation has done phenomenally great in past six decades of its independence. We have reached a point where world can't afford to ignore us! A fantastic future is ahead of us but to achieve that we have many challenges to face. If we are so proud to be Indians, let our unflinching commitment towards our country reflect in our attitudes, in our way we treat our fellow countrymen, in our mindsets, in our way of performing our duties as citizens, in our work culture, in our every action, every possible day! Only then we can help our nation reach its true potential.

Enough of resting on our glorious past! We have had enough of rhetoric on how proud we are as Indians. It is high time to take action towards some concrete future and contribute our bit. Nationalism is not some fleeting experience. Let us ingrain it permanently in our every action if we are indeed patriotic! There are miles to go... Jai Hind!

Paradise Lost !

I was at a small gathering hosted by our new friends who happen to be Kashmiri Pandit. As the evening and the conversations progressed, there was discussion about the current episodes of violence and sad state of affairs in Kashmir. The host couple took out old albums that portrayed their stunningly beautiful, ancestral home which they were forced to evict about two decades back. Suddenly, the evening was colored with a different hue.

Looking at the photographs, our friends felt nostalgic and narrated some painful experiences that they had, while leaving their own homes and heart behind to save their lives. They explained how during their recent visit to Kashmir, they realized that two decades of changed geography had paled their erstwhile palatial home. The old medieval edifice, that was passed down to them by generations, now stood as a testimony of a time devastated by sponsored terrorism of fundamentalists, violence, political neglect and perennially persistent state of emergency.  Most agonizing experience for them was, when they stood numb, outside the place they once inhabited rightfully and happily with family members, consisting three generations!

For most of people living outside Kashmir, being a refugee in one's own motherland has been an invisible experience that we only read about and sometimes listen through some chanced upon encounters like mine! When my friends narrated their painful experiences of inhuman torture and harassment that forced them to flee the state, everybody in the room was in tears.

Two decades have already passed and still millions of Kashmiri Pandits are living in hellish conditions all over the country! Generations have lived in constant suffering and an entire generation is born out of conflict. Six decades have passed since we got the independence and the issue of Kashmir is still not resolved! The deadliest war sponsored by fundamentalists that caused most painful exodus of such a large scale and we still don't seem to have found the answer!

Hypnotic Kashmir - the paradise that we once knew is lost. Life has stopped and there are silent cries from the valley that resonate in the experiences of people who once lived there long ago. While the political, geographical and religious muddle thickens in Kashmir with each passing day all that is left of this paradise is the photo albums of good old days and lots of noise from the gunshots!

What a shame !

I recently came across an interesting term "austerity diet" while reading an article in the news paper. No, it was not used to endorse any spiritual attainment or renounce materialistic world with altruistic intentions. The term was used to describe ruthless assault of skyrocketing food prices compelling people to compromise on their daily, basic requirement of nutritious food.


How often do we listen about cases of death due to starvation or malnutrition in India? The media is abuzz with such disturbing incidents for quite some time now. Don't these shocking incidents seem out of place when the country seems to be doing pretty well economically while most of the world is still struggling with after effects of recession?

In the backdrop of this kind  of death and deprivation when I learnt about the recent shameful incident of HUGE quantity of food grain rotting, caused by callousness of Food Corporation of India, I watched the news in disbelief. What shocked me more was our Union Agriculture minister's response, devoid of any remorse or guilt!! In country like ours, where we are highly dependent on agriculture, criminal waste of food occurs due to lack of adequate storing space! And who is responsible for such deplorable administrative negligence and evident foul play really?

As our honorable minister said, "such things happen sometimes", oh yeah, they sadly do! Specially when there is overwhelming dereliction of duty by FCI officials. Isn't it high time to crack the whip at the corrupt people responsible for this atrocious act? Creating logistics should not be a problem IF there is a political will to find solution. India is headed to achieve double digit growth in near future but can we take pride when people are still dying of hunger, poverty, malnutrition and millions of tonnes of food grain wasted due to corruption and greed? For any nation with conscience, even a single such death is a matter of shame and great concern.

So, Mr. minister, please remember that such serious omissions are beyond pardon. Such things should NEVER happen again. Ever!

Being human...

A few weeks ago, I was following news, reporting an accident on television. The reporter covering that tragic incident was asking a bereaved woman, who had lost her husband and two children in that accident, how she felt!! The camera was zooming on that lady's face, trying to capture her every possible expression and word. The woman, deep in her shock was in precarious condition. But the reporter, hell bent on covering the most "potential" visuals guaranteed to catch more eyeballs for his channel, kept rephrasing the same question without realizing that he was transgressing moral bounds of basic humanity!

Indian media is going berserk in the race of getting maximum viewership. It has crossed all possible limits to create sensational news out of insignificant issues. Serious issues like terrorism or death have become sheer number games in the fierce war of survival and staying ahead in the business. And this filthy game doesn't stop at posing insensitive questions to the people affected by tragedies. The coverage of tragic incidents is hysterical and spicing up human suffering seems to be the mantra to grab maximum eyeballs.

A powerful medium like media seems to be in state of flux and is being used callously without realizing the responsibilities that it entails and it is clearly reflected in lack of accuracy, perspective and depth in the way certain issues are handled.  Agreed, media is just a business at the end but can we have certain codes of conduct? Can we expect objective reporting that is not devoid of basic human values like compassion? I wonder sometimes, God forbid, if the journalists or their family members were to face some tragedy, would their approach be as dehumanized and shameful?

Media is backbone for any nation and it plays a crucial role in shaping a healthy democracy. Indian media has undoubtedly evolved and matured in past two decades and its impact is noteworthy. However, there are lots of questions that need answers. With money and politics having entered the print and electronic media, is there any check on these "powerhouses"? Is it alright to let the media exercise its unlimited power and freedom without being responsible for the very purpose it is meant to serve? No amount of power can justify inhuman attitude devoid of ethics. And when ethics take backseat, all we witness is nothing but an ugly side of media that has potential to create havoc that is beyond our imagination. And that is dreadful for any democracy. I hope, Indian media wakes up to this fact. At the earliest!

Stolen moments with perfect strangers...

I often visit the mall next to my building, for acquiring grocery for my home. But sometimes, my visits are much more than just shopping expeditions. A mundane task like acquiring grocery for my kitchen turns out to be treasured experience when I accidentally meet some interesting peoplel. There are fascinating stories about people, human nature and life in general. And there is never dearth of tales and lessons whenever there are people around! It is when I have some stolen moments and quiet interludes, with complete strangers that I sometimes chance upon prove my visits to the mall , much more valuable.

I usually gravitate towards people who kindle enthusiasm and are open to share. Interactions with such people, instantly brings a new level of human connection. I find many people quite interesting and a few have even left a lasting impression on me no matter how short the interaction has been. I am often intrigued by the various layers of the human nature that keep unfolding in my observations.

There is a lady working at the security gate, at the mall that I frequent. She always greets everybody with her beautiful, genuine smile. No matter what the number of visitors at the mall, each woman would be welcomed by a warm "hello" and "have a good day" from this lady. Once I asked her if her back hurts badly as she has to bend so many times during her security checking rituals. She winked at me and said, "madam, it is difficult and painful but I get to see so many beautiful, well dressed people here and I love it! It is worth breaking my back. You know, my sense of dressing has become sophisticated ever since I started working at this place and my husband loves that change in me!"

The grocery store at the mall hires many people in their twenties. Most of them are efficient in their work but there is one person in particular who is exceptionally meticulous and brilliant at his job. Generally, there is rush at the fruits and vegetable section. Every time fresh fruits and vegetables are placed in the baskets, people dart to those counters with the trolleys as if they are participating in Olympic race! This invariably creates chaos. One of the staff members working at that section always manages to ease off tension between arguing people and makes sure that each customer leaves the counter with happy face. He cracks jokes, goes out of his way to serve every possible customer diligently and does that with such dignity that people listen to him! I asked him once, how he manages such a harrowing task of keeping his cool when people behave in most uncivilized manner, he said, "madam, such scenes create bad impression and I can't let that happen around me. So I just do what is needed and laugh it off. Believe me, it provides great entertainment for me too."

There are many other examples of people whom I come across everyday, who conduct themselves in exemplary manner in difficult situations. These people are my everyday heroes. They don't come from educated or privileged background. Their everyday life is a struggle and yet they face life with optimism, have a healthy attitude that reveals insights of wisdom in a way one rarely expects to find.

We generally don't reflect on small yet significant incidents like the ones I mentioned above. When we are aware of  people around us and their existence, it becomes deeply fulfilling experience. There are immenses number of people who touch my life everyday, in some undefined beautiful way. The delight of such interludes is the genuineness of their spirit and their dynamism that is reflected in their way of coping with life. The joy derived from witnessing it  is exquisitely personal!

Stumbling upon silence...

Last Monday, the bandh (general strike) that was enforced nationwide was a great blessing in disguise for me (let me make it clear that I am against any bandh). Thanks to the bandh, I enjoyed some peaceful moments that had such rejuvenating impact on me!

Have you ever wondered, when was the last time you actually listened to the birds chirping in your garden? Counted number of species of birds that you spotted or observed lovely colors on the butterfly wings? When was the last time, when you were really aware of your breath? I know, it is very difficult to find even some fleeting moments of enraptured silence amidst the hustle and bustle of our urban life!

Rapidly increasing noise is one of the most disturbing elements of our modern life. Right from early mornings to late nights, we are constantly bombarded with jarring sounds with nudging high pitched vibrations, coming from different directions; be it traffic, construction sites, screeching sound of the flights every five minutes in the sky, loud speakers or noisy market places. We are constantly exposed to the unhealthy levels of decibels that cause us stress and other health issues.

Every day, I literally struggle to find some music amidst the cacophonous torture, just like that kid from the Hollywood movie "August Rush", who has great ability to find solace in his music even amidst the most jarring sounds! Albeit, I am yet to succeed completely but the search continues. On last Monday, when the "bandh" was declared, it turned out to be one of the most magnificent days of inner renewal for me!

I woke up very early as usual and embraced the morning languidly. As the morning slowly progressed, there was no sign of the usual maddening hurry. Roads were absolutely empty, there were no drivers in my building blowing the horns, the construction site across the road was quiet, no doorbells rung either at my home or at neighbor's and suddenly I felt as if the world was still! I headed to the favorite part of my building- the garden. As I walked down to the garden, I noticed all the four buildings in my society looked completely deserted! There was not a single soul around! Balconies, garden and the track meant for the jogs were all empty. I experienced peace beyond words and possible imagination!

I took my shoes off and started walking on lawn at the podium garden. The soft, cool touch of grass on the bare feet was soothing! The sun rays glistened on the dew drops on the leaves. I lied down on the grassbed and watched the sky paint lovely abstracts from its vast palette. After the rain of previous day, the garden looked fresh and the sight of butterflies chasing each other added splash of stunning colors to the already beautiful surrounding! I listened to Nature's sounds around me in pure, undisturbed form, cherishing each single moment of that experience.

When I returned home, I was oozing with some powerful energy that one derives only from being close to Nature. Luckily, I didn't have to drive to some country side or  trek to some woods or fields or dive into river to attain that. I spent the entire day with such serene calm! My daily meditation session was one of the finest in so many years thanks to absence of cacophony. I could think much clearly, got in touch with my inner self more easily and had a glimpse of myself with crystal clear perspective! That day, I listened to many natural sounds and observed many things around me that I otherwise miss out despite them being very much part of my surrounding!

Silence, as I experienced was presence of all that was natural in its purest form, undisturbed by all mechanical, electrical or human made noises. The flood of emotions I felt while experiencing it is beyond realm of words! I could feel how Nature's true worship is in listening to it and deep down I have transformed at some level for sure! To be honest, I almost could feel some zen moments during that day. I yearn for more such extra ordinary moments of silence but I must practice to experience that even amidst all the chaos. Only then, it would be really achieving silence in its true sense, isn't it?

Love, longing and loneliness...

"Believe me, it has been a solitary journey", said a friend of mine sipping his cafe latte. I was astonished to hear that! He is a great example of one of the most successful rags to riches story, I have ever heard in my life! We were discussing how he felt about his business empire that he created over two decades; spawned across the globe. He is a respected name in the industry that is considered to be glamorous.

"Of course, it feels great when I look back. Being able to create an organization of value, the recognition, all the attention, the "power", people wanting to know you, be with you, the proximity with them and I love every bit of it! But you know what, it is all ephemeral! At the end, there is this strange alienation from everything, kind of emptiness inside! Despite being surrounded by so many people, a very few really understand me outside my work. I wonder how many of them are really interested to stay invested in me beyond realm of my profession. And with work and travel schedules like mine, the only free time I get, is at the airport lounges. It is almost impossible to find any time to bond with people I would love to be with really!" When he said this, I could feel streak of loneliness in his eyes and he wasn't just talking about his professional life in those very comfortable moments of candid confession.

Last week, when I learnt about suicide case of the supermodel Viveka Babaji, I remembered that conversation with my friend and his views about how lonely and depressing certain careers like his, made people feel. I was glued to the television and watching the details of Viveka's suicide, with deep shock and disbelief. We often read about success stories, listen about  people reaching giddy heights of fame and recognition and we sometimes believe that life must be fairy tale for them! After all, that's how the media projects them!

I just can't comprehend why some successful people from glamour industry, like Viveka (or from recent past, Nafisa Joseph and Kuljeet Randhawa), went into spiral of self destructive abyss! For some, the same situations might have served as genesis of learning, understanding and growth.

Agreed, there is tremendous pressure in glamour industry to get work and stay in limelight amidst fierce competition that leads to great insecurity. Not necessarily everybody who reaches super stardom goes through alcohol, drugs or leads a decadent life that is so often proclaimed by media. There have been very successful people, who have managed to have a very healthy approach to fame and all it entails. One has to have a good support system and know transience of glamour, money, recognition or the perceived "power".

All of us, no matter how educated, sometimes create undesirable outcomes in our life due to our actions and behaviour. In our journey of life, we are sometimes treated badly by people whom we trust and love deeply. At some point of time or other, we all take bad decisions, trust wrong people and end up paying monumental price. Don't these very experiences make us human?

In today's times, when there is so much pressure from every possible area of our life, it is all the more important to know that failure is just a mindset. It depends on what meaning we assign to certain outcomes of the events. If we process our experiences in healthy manner, we can evolve and manage ourselves amidst the mayhem that surrounds us.

There is nothing wrong in being grotesquely fascinated by very ambitious personal or professional goals in life. But if these ambitions cost anyone's life, it is high time to do a reality check!

Killing with "honor" !!!

Since past couple of months, we have witnessed disgustingly incessant "honor killings" from Northern states of the country. The entire nation has been watching this blasphemy lividly! Welcome to this bleak reality of India in 2010!

What is most traumatizing in these sacrilegious incidents, is the stand taken by the culprits (who sadly, in most cases happen to be family members of the victims) and their unapologetic ways of brandishing it ! Some member of the family gets married out of the community he/she belongs to or with someone with same gotra (a term applied to a clan, patrilineal lineage - whose members trace their descent to a common ancestor) and people feel compelled to kill their own family members to "save and honor traditional values"!! In each of these "honor killing" cases, the victims were tortured in most barbaric manner!
 
If you recollect some recent incidents, they are from educated urban middleclass and not restricted to rural viscera anymore! And they expose some despicable truths about us as society. These heinous crimes debunk the popular belief that the hegemony of caste, kinship, community or feudal values are prevalent only in uneducated and economically backward class of our society. It is evident that these cold blooded murders are more about exercising power games; social and political, within and outside the respective communities.

These incidents are serious social issues and we need to explore the driving force behind these horrific violent acts. It is a clear reflection of the paradox of contemporary Indian middle class and its contradictory value systems in daily life. To understand its complex make up, one has to also manifest social, cultural, political and economic factors involved and address them effectively from grass root level.

Precious lives are lost because of a few peoples' perceived loss of "honor"! Why don't the same people think about some basic human values? No matter how hard I try, it is impossible for me to understand the psyche behind these crimes. I always believe that lack of education is root cause of all the problems.

Many of us are very blessed to have liberal upbringing and exposure that provides a much bigger world to inhabit.We have never been compelled or confined to any particular framework of thinking. And for us, caste, creed, community aren't significant beyond a point.

No civilized society can condone violence but when I come across incidents like "honor killings" I have a disturbing question in my mind, "are we, as nation, civilized enough, yet?"

Paper boats in the puddle...

Since last one week, it is raining beautifully.  It is such a gratifying respite from the sweltering heat and has changed the Nature's canvas sublimely, providing a soothing calm. I enjoy watching rain from my bedroom window. As the wind gushes and flirts with plenty of wind chimes in my house, they create fascinating, rhythmic intonations, rendered in perfect harmony. The tiny raindrops that the wind brings have therapeutic quality to them and when I feel its magical caress on my skin, every single cell of my body is rejuvanated! The hypnotic, heavenly fragrance of wet earth takes me to a completely different world! Rain weaves such a magic on everyone! It helps disconnecting ourselves from concrete reality of our urban landscapes and get immersed with Nature.

Last evening, it was raining very heavily and I went to call my son, playing football in the rain. It was getting slightly dark and all I could listen to, was steady pattering of the raindrops and shrill cries of the children. As I walked towards the play area in my building, suddenly my son came from nowhere and hugged me tight. I was about to get angry, looking at his dirty clothes when he said, "not done mom! Why don't you forget that umbrella and enjoy the rain?" He snatched my umbrella and dragged me with him to the garden of my building.  He showed me lush green leaves, cozily nestling the raindrops. "Isn't it perfect mom? The way you love it? " Before I answered, he said,"let's search for some paper boats in the puddles. Those are only things missing!"

I was surprised, when my son suggested we take a walk exploring rain! For a teenage boy like him, there is nothing more exciting and adrenaline pumping like a game of football in the rain with friends! As we started walking in our premises, we spotted some toddlers trying to catch the rain in their tiny palms. They were in the rain coats and gumboots, accompanied by their nannies who were watching the children carefully, lest they get wet. In the backdrop of beautifully manicured, well maintained garden and spotlessly clean cement road in the building, experiencing rain was mesmerizing! It was just the way I love, rain sans any grime! My son talked about how fascinated he used to be with the paper boats of different shapes, colors and sizes that I used to make for him and his friends, when he was young.

As we neared the main gate of our building, my son noticed a child with his mother, a few meters away across the road at one of the temporary shanties meant for the workers, at the construction site. The mother was having a tough time stopping the child from going in the rain as they were dangerously close to the main road, full with traffic. The child, barely four, was hell bent on playing with the water that was gushing towards the gutter near their shack. My son asked me to wait for him and rushed back home. After a while, he returned with a plastic bag in his hand, full with paper boats, and I realized what was on his mind.

We walked down to the mother and child across the road. My son called the child and started putting paper boats in the water. The child, initially shy, looked so delighted looking at the boats sailing off! The sense of wonder in his eyes (a rare thing to find in urban children generally) was
unfathomable! Soon, few other children started gathering and enjoy watching the boats with amazing excitement! After spending some time with those children, when we returned, there was a divine feeling inside us!

Last evening was special to me in many ways. I not only enjoyed the rain with my son after long time but also realized that no matter how big he grew, he still cherished those little moments and valued them immensely. I hope and pray that he continues to share things with everyone just like the way he did, last evening with those children. I loved it when he left his game just to be with me. I know he has his own beautiful world but I am still an important part of it. And that feeling is precious! Don't I often say I'm very blessed?

Incidental encounter

One of the most fascinating things in life is how some incidents reveal insights from random experiences and enhance our perceptions about people and life in general. Sometimes, these experiences compel us to reach the realms in our mind that are not visited before. Last week, I chanced upon one such incident that took my breath away! One of my friends was admitted to the hospital and I was with her for three consecutive days.

When I learnt about my friend and rushed to the hospital, I realized, there was one more lady patient sharing the room. What struck me immediately, were the various photographs and posters of that patient, occupying half the walls. The pictures portrayed beautiful moments spent together with family. Posters were filled with birthday wishes and plenty of get well soon messages in beautiful, inspiring words. There was a huge, handmade card, meant for Mother's day. The lady looked vivacious in the pictures. As the day passed, my curiosity reached its peak when I noticed the doctors checking her progress every hour! I learnt from a nurse that the lady had met with a fatal road accident, causing serious injury to her brain that made her almost vegetable! I was curious to catch a glimpse of that woman but could not see her properly due to partition.

Around lunch time, when a nurse arrived to take that lady patient for some tests, I could finally see the woman and was shocked to see her completely disfigured face! I couldn't believe it was the same face with that stunning smile in the pictures! I approached the family members, introduced myself and asked them about the woman's condition. They told me that she had already undergone three surgeries and two more were to be performed and was admitted to hospital for more than five months!!!

The next morning, when I reached the hospital, the lady was in her wheelchair, near the window. Her husband and daughter were trying to wake her up and make her see the sun. The lady looked asleep but still they were talking to her about how beautiful the day was, they told her what date, time and which day it was. Her husband kept reminding her how lucky they were to have two beautiful, supportive children. He kept assuring her how very soon life would be back to normal just the way it was before her accident. The daughter switched on the television and put the music channel. She discussed all the latest hit numbers on the countdown. She also read out the headlines of the day after switching off the television. After some time, that lady's son arrived and informed her how his interview went the previous day. He also shared some family jokes and they all laughed and behaved as if nothing had actually changed in their life! I was literally in tears witnessing this interaction.

Later on, I learnt from the staff that this was the daily ritual of the family right from the day one! I was so touched by the way they handled this tragedy that I wanted to speak to them and learn more about them without being intrusive. I got the chance, when the daughter of that patient (in her early 20s) offered me coffee. When I looked at her, I could see a strong woman fighting her vulnerable self. She sensed my concern and requested me to go with her outside the room as she didn't want her mother to listen to our conversation. In those moments of sharing, we both were captive and connected in strange way.

When I told her with moist eyes, how impressed I was to see the way her family handled their challenge, tears dropped down her cheeks. She presented her peril with utmost openness. She shared details of painfully disturbing ordeal the family was going through! When I asked her how they felt when there was no trace that her mother was able to understand anything or respond to anything. She said that they just could NOT give up hope and they HAD to do what they were doing to help her mother fight for her life! In that moment of cathartic sharing, I observed, how tragedies make people look suddenly older. I told her what a fantastic family and beautiful human beings they all were and that her parents were very fortunate to have her as child.

In those three days, I witnessed humanity in its most sacred form! It is very difficult to handle adversity in today's times when there are unrealistic demands from work and life. One is often torn between love, duty and other compulsions that life presents. The family I met at the hospital embraced their arduous challenge with tremendous power of love so beautifully that it was difficult to imagine their struggle was going on for months! I was completely bowled over by the divinity this incidental interlude made me witness. I thanked God for letting me have this inspiring experience and prayed for the woman and her family.

We come across many people everyday but a very few stay forever etched in our mind. I am going to remember this family forever, as they have taught me new dimensions of love, care, compassion and duty. God bless them always!

Whose life is it anyway ?

Entire nation was grief-stricken on 28th May 2010, witnessing yet another violent outburst of Maoists that claimed life of 71 innocent people in train accident. The sabotage has clearly established how slow and steady growth of Naxal insurgency has now reached a stage, impossible to ignore. Suddenly, whole country is compelled to notice existence of a section of society we barely recognized in all these years!

Many of us, who were watching the news on television have witnessed the shameless blame game by politicians and have felt betrayed once again by their blatant denial, deceit and seasoned rhetoric! The media has been quite obsessed with the issue but hardly delivered anything beyond "discussions". Sadly, most news channels have missed the epicenter of the issue and focused on how the government should nab the Naxal violence.

In last few years, Maoists have emerged as parallel power structure that now threatens the country from within. After realizing the seriousness of the threat, everyone suddenly wants to "fix" the problem. If we check the history of the tribal issues, we would realize that it has been very clearly mishandled since beginning, a few decades ago. Tragically, it is a case of lethal combination of chronic neglect by government, bureaucracy, greed, filthy politics of power and corruption, exploitation of tribal people by self proclaimed "well wishers" and suppressed dissatisfaction of a segment that has been outcast on its own land where it legitimately belongs. 

Tribal people have lived for generations with perfect harmony with Mother Nature. Most of the resettlement programs have failed to do justice to the pain of sacrifice tribal people had to undergo for the sake of development. For any nation to progress, industrial development is inevitable but when such development robs the very people of the land their lives and means of livelihood, the gravity of situation reaches inhuman proportion which is shame for any society. No society can progress completely if it isn't inclusive of all class of its people.

Politics is not my forte as it is beyond my comprehension. But I strongly feel that if the government is genuinely interested in addressing Naxal issue, it needs to change its approach. It needs sensitive handling of industrial development issues. Providing some land or financial compensation to the people affected in the process of development, is not enough. The government needs to equip tribal people with education and vocational training to survive change.

There is a lot to learn from tribal people if we are open enough to acknowledge and accept their existence. They can teach us great deal about organic living which is required all the more in today's times. However, I must add, I strongly condemn the violence that Naxals have adhered to in past few years. Violence is not an answer for any problem. Is it? 

Thou shalt not judge !

About a week back, a very learned, well known journalist friend of mine tagged me in one of his posts on Facebook. The post had a very poignant story about Pulitzer winning photograph by Kevin Carter, during 1994 Sudan famine. If you remember that world famous photograph, it depicts a famine stricken child crawling towards the UN Food Camp. There is a vulture, lurking in background, waiting for the child to die so that it can feed on it. That picture received enormous attention world over.

My friend  gave a brief note about the trauma, the photographer underwent and disturbing details about how he was in deep trouble at the time of taking the picture and  how the photographer finally ended his life by committing suicide. After the note, was a request to express our views on the subject.

It was a very tough call to comment on that serious, sensitive issue of such magnitude! However, when the comments started pouring in, they made an interesting statement about how easily we tend to judge situations and people, without considering the necessary factors involved! Some people had opinion that instead of helping the girl reach the UN food camp, the artist tried to exploit the child's suffering to his advantage. It made me reflect on how incessantly judgmental we are just about everything in life! It reminded me of a recent incident when I had shocked myself with a very harsh judgment which was inconsistent with my principles.

Last month, me and my hubby had gone for a weekend at Kashid. Soon after we checked in a hotel, the manager suggested we visit more secluded part of the beach and showed us the way to reach there. It was a narrow path that could accommodate only one car. As we reached the beach, we saw a small cement structure and we parked our car at the slope there and headed to the sea. Hardly a few meters away, there was another car parked and a man wearing nothing except a tiny, thin towel emerged from it. He was short, dark, had a huge paunch, wore thick gold chains, cheap looking sunglasses and was speaking very loudly in a crude manner over cell phone. I was instantly appalled by his repugnant demeanour (atrocious ! what an eyesore, I thought). I was extremely angry with the man for dressing like that at public place!

After spending some time at the sea, when we returned to our car, we spotted the man atop his car enjoying his beer. I was so shocked with that sight that I secretly wished that I could make him disappear! My hubby had some difficulty taking the car out from the slope as it got stuck between cement slope and the sand. He kept trying but in vain! It became tricky and required some expertise to get the car out. Before we could even think about anything, the same man approached us and started guiding my hubby and helped him. He was surprisingly polite and patient.  It took almost thirty minutes to finally get the car out. When we thanked him for his kind gesture (there was still trace of anger in me and a big dent to my ego because the "eyesore" that I had so despised had helped us at a crucial time when there wasn't anybody around) he smiled very gently and followed us in his car and made sure that we reached the main road properly. He waved us good bye with a big smile and returned to the beach.

As we drove back to our hotel, hubby could sense some sadness in my eyes. When I told him about how insensitive I had been to the man and that I was ashamed of having failed in my own eyes, he said in his typical, always forgiving style, "It is okay baby! That's how one learns about life, about people." He started playing my favorite music to cheer me up. I smiled at him and closed my eyes. I knew, no matter how cautious I had been about not letting my judgments be colored by anything, I had wronged by completely ignoring someone's existence! I had judged that man by his appearance and had failed to see him beyond it. If he had not bothered to help us, I would have never known this side of him and would have even preferred to forget him completely!

The experience taught me how deep down some part of my inner self was completely disconnected  when I became judgmental about that man. And believe me, it was not at all a good feeling! I realized, I have to keep a constant check on my inner compass and that is going to be a continuous work in progress till my last breath!